Posted by
Garnet92 on Thursday, December 10, 2009 8:32:38 PM
Pesky Truth has learned of the most insidious scheme ever perpetrated by our congressional representatives on an unsuspecting electorate.
We, the voters, will be relieved of the pesky chore of casting ballots. We have become superfluous (that means “unnecessary” for Obama voters). There is a plan afoot to remove the election process from the capricious whims of the voters and place it in the more qualified hands of congress itself.
Here’s what our sources tell us: using software modeling techniques developed at the University of East Anglia in Norwich, UK and working from decades of raw voting data going back to the 18th century, the newly-formed Voter Research Unit (VRU) will apply “adjustments” to previous voting patterns to yield new voting trends. Based on those trends, turnout and results may now be scientifically forecast.
Pesky Truth has learned that Congress has already secured a license to use the university’s Climate Research Unit (CRU) software to determine what the “proper” election results should be for any given election. The university will first clean the code, removing any pesky remarks and revising the hard-coded adjustment factors to adhere to the stringent requirements defined by the VRU.
We can expect each incumbent’s vote total to appear as a upward spike in his/her votes, not unlike the “hockey stick” pattern shown in the infamous Global-Scale Temperature Patterns graph. Based on an amalgam of historical vote totals and proxy “votes” estimated from tree sap and animal droppings, the VRU can now forecast election results with great accuracy.
In fact, we’re told that the VRU has already beta-tested the 2010 midterm congressional elections and the 2012 presidential election and forecast that democrats will win all 435 house seats, all 100 senate seats, and the presidency.
Congress has already begun work drafting legislation to redirect the funding previously wasted on elections. The new software will assist the VRU in forecasting who would have run against the democrat candidate and since they will lose, tax them for the money that they would have spent on their campaign. Contributors to those ill-fated campaigns will be forecast and taxed for the amount they would have contributed. Just today, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has added a new stipulation to the legislation. One that denies any recourse to any individual who maintains that he/she would not have run for office, or that he/she would not have contributed to any campaign. Once identified by the VRU software, the individual loses any right of denial.
The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) has estimated the new revenue at 2.8 trillion dollars over ten years. Or, enough cash to fund a comfortable lifestyle for each and every member of congress - one that they believe they so richly deserve.
After all, it’s hard work defrauding the public.